Alas, that was not to be. At some time during the night while I slumbered -- something I haven't been able to do much since January 20, 2017 -- all the bros of Twitter erupted in a frazzled mania at once, as if their testosterone cycles had finally synchronized after months of complaining in close quarters.
Clinton has said repeatedly that she has no plans to run. I present to you Exhibit A:Lotta dudes in the media are VERY concerned about whether Chelsea Clinton will run for office and they WANT HER TO KNOW ABOUT IT pic.twitter.com/ic3Pl7h5Na— Brandon Friedman (@BFriedmanDC) April 25, 2017
Just for reinforcement, I present to you Exhibit B:Love that more scientists are planning to run for office*— Chelsea Clinton (@ChelseaClinton) April 24, 2017
*Periodic reminder that I am not running for office https://t.co/A5bphDsbKz
But that's not enough. Brocialist Twitter is convinced that she's going to run for Nita Lowey's seat in 2018. And they will not have that, dammit!I'm not running for anything*— Chelsea Clinton (@ChelseaClinton) April 25, 2017
*Apparently periodic reminder may mean twice a day reminding https://t.co/xJrYI30j39
(Note: I realize that the above tweet is snark. But it's snark that pokes fun at an actual fear that brocialist Twitter has and frequently expresses.)So who from Left Twitter is going to step up, move from Brooklyn to White Plains, and challenge Chelsea in the NY-17 primary?— Matthew Yglesias (@mattyglesias) April 25, 2017
Apparently the issue here is that she hasn't promised to run for anything, ever, and they cannot sleep until they're certain that they'll never have to see her name on a campaign sign for a school board election. In addition to that, they'd also like signed statements from her children, Charlotte and Aidan, that they also will not run. That, and only that, will finally lull them into a sweet, sweet slumber.
Chelsea Clinton running for office is what keeps them awake at night. Meanwhile, my current nighttime regimen is to chase 2 Ambien with a double-shot of Vladimir vodka with the slim hope of getting a few hours of sleep before being jolted awake from my nightmares of nuclear bombs and rapey post-apocalyptic hellscapes.
We are, as a country, facing actual danger. We are led by an incompetent narcissist with obvious mental impairments who uses the office of the president to fill his family's coffers. Surrounding him are Russian sympathizers, opportunistic white supremacists who want to "deconstruct government" -- whatever the hell that means --and two family members, both of whom have vastly superior cognitive functioning, but who are just as shallow and self-serving as the president.
And none of these people care enough stop him from tweeting threats to North Korea from his toilet in the middle of the night.
This whacked obsession the media has with Chelsea Clinton running for office scares me because it's evidence that the media has learned nothing from the clusterfuck of coverage that led us to where we are right now. The media still refuses to take a woman at her word while refusing to take a very dangerous man at his.
This has to stop.